Candle in the darkness

I was cooking dinner for Chad last night to celebrate my job offer. I knew he was stressed driving across LA at rush hour, and before he got here, I lit a bunch of little tea lights to take the edge off the harsh light. Well...as summer is approaching, the sun hadn't yet set....so it was still bright throughout the apartment. As I lit the candles...they barely had any effect because of the sunlight.

I was thinking about that as I finished dinner....and it struck me: A candle in a room filled with the sun has little effect in providing light... If the room were completely dark, however, that same candle can FILL the room with light. I was offered a job to stay in Los Angeles....and I have some opportunities to go back "home" to Dallas and work. Dallas by no means is Christianity at its greatest....but it IS the Bible belt and Texas on the whole is a pretty well lit state. Even if you don't believe in Jesus, you have heard about him. In LA---that's not necessarily the case. In LA I'm an odd one out. I'm much more like that candle in the dark room. To go back to Texas, you have to fight through the foggy haze of cultural Christianity to really shine for the glory of God. It's a different life. It's a good, and stable and comfortable decision for me to go back.....but in my heart, I hear resonating the words of Nehemiah (as taught to me by Andy Stanley)---"I am doing a good work, and I cannot come down." Dallas is a good place to live (despite Kelly's Top 10 Reasons to Hate Texas list)....but I am doing a good work here in LA, and I cannot come down.

Now...with that said...don't get me wrong...it's a scary thought to stay out here in LA another year. I'd no longer be a temporary resident....I'd have to admit I LIVE here. It's intimidating. It's sad to continue to be away from my family. My parents hate the idea--they miss me. I feel like I'm disapointing them by even thinking about it. They feel like they'll lose me forever---that I'll never come back if I stay. But I have God's peace filling me everytime I think about it. God knows that this wouldn't be the choice I would make for my life apart from God, but I see him working so vividly in my job, in my new small group, my surroundings, in my church, in my ministries. I just have to continue to walk in faith and trust that he'll close the doors that have opened if this is not where I am to be. Keep praying with me....